Anathematization of the world is not an adequate response to the world.

-Donald Barthleme

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In my apartment I am definitely the person who takes care of business, and not in the snappy figurative way. The cable and electric are in my name, whenever we have to switch plans or services I’m always the one on the phone for hours. We’ve had countless maintenance problems, and I’m always the one to call the management company for the apartment.

The problem is, this office is literally the least professional organization that I have ever had the displeasure of dealing with. If they had a Yelp page, they would be getting REEMED right now (#firstworldstatements). The first time I went, I had to push past a crowd of douchey bros in popped collars and aviators smoking outside the cramped doorway. I thought they were renters, but later when they came back in the office I realized that they were the employees…and I looked around and realized that the office was staffed by ONLY douchey bros and one surprisingly professional woman, who presented me with the papers to sign my lease and will not be reappearing in this saga.

For the first three months in our apartment, the company called us halfway through the month claiming not to have received our rent. When we told them we had sent it, they said they’d check again, and then found it somewhere in the office. The second month, the exact same thing happened. The third month, they threatened us with fines and we had to tell them AGAIN that they needed to check in their office because this kept happening. After this, we started taking the rent out to the office by hand. It’s about a two hour round trip from our apartment on public transportation. Guess who gets to do it the most often because she takes care of business? That’s right, this girl.

When we first moved into the apartment, not only was it filthy, but whenever anyone in the building did their laundry in the basement, our water would turn off! So if you were mid-shower and someone downstairs did laundry, you were stuck with soap in your hair. This was the fault of the previous tenants for never calling about it, but we had a lot to sort out when we arrived.

That was our first maintenance issue. After that was fixed, we had to call about the washing machine several more times over the course of the next few months because it would simply stop working, or the amount of uncollected quarters in the machine would prevent the coin-start from pushing in and starting the machine. Why we have to pay $2 for wash and $2 for dry I’ll never know, especially when the company isn’t even collecting the money.

Between the maintenance issues and the rent problems, I got to know a guy at City Realty named Josh pretty well. He was nice and helped us out a lot, but one day, he just stopped answering my emails. I called, still nothing. I took it as a hint that he didn’t want to give any tenants special treatment and that he wanted me to return to the usual channels, which in this case is telling whatever apathetic front desk girl is on duty at the time and having her tell me that someone will call, and then nobody calling, but having someone come fix the issue anyway.

In the most recent installment of this infuriating saga, our dryer stopped working - put coins in, nothing happened. Tried twice. So I called and had a girl tell me (surprise) someone would call me. Except I’m sick of wasting money testing to see if they’ve come and done anything about it yet. So I’ve called a couple times since Friday, each time a girl telling me she’d check if it had been done yet and call me back. Nope, nothing. This morning was my third call, and not for the first time, I said, “someone always says they’ll call me back and they never do, and I’d like to know if it’s actually been fixed.”

Even after this blatant call-out, I HAVE STILL NOT RECEIVED A CALL. These people literally have no shame. There is no element of “oh, this person is annoyed because we haven’t been calling to confirm that we’ve sent someone out. Maybe I should call her so she won’t be more annoyed at the company that I work for.”

I love my apartment and moving sucks and we already re-signed the lease. But I will never, EVER rent from this company again. And this is like, the least interesting tumblr rant you have ever read and if you’ve actually read to the end, you’ve exceeded my expectations and also my own level of patience. But there is no Yelp page for this company. And I don’t want to complain any more to the company than I already have because I don’t want them to start actively screwing me over rather than blatantly ignoring me.

So. Here we are.

Like, we’re supposed to go to class and have a job which takes about ten hours out of the day, and then afterward we’re regularly supposed to do extra work at home, and then on top of that there are large assignments like research papers or projects.

I don’t know about you, but regularly, my day ends at about 2 or 3 am and I haven’t done a single thing that *I* wanted to do. Then I have to get up at 7 or 8 and do it all over again.

Do you see anyone trying to pull this shit on grown-ass adults? And if they tried, do you think they’d let it fly?

Does anybody actually THINK about what’s going on here?

I’m not totally without perspective, I know it’s not fourteen-hour days in a mine in the third world or anything, but it seems like people never think about the actual logistics of what they ask people to do.

I’m all about not asking people to do anything you wouldn’t do yourself, and I’d like to meet anyone who would voluntarily adopt this lifestyle without the societal pressures of academic and future success.


Performance Art Piece of the Day: For her latest project, “The Birth of Baby X,” Brooklyn-based performance artist Marni Kotak will give birth to an actual baby in front of local art patrons at Bushwick’s microscope gallery.

The birth will be followed by a long-term piece called “Raising Baby X,” which Kotak describes as “an ongoing performance art project that re-contextualizes the everyday act of raising a child as a work of art.”

For the project, Kotak will document every aspect of her child’s life, including, but not limited to, food, education, healthcare, discipline, “and simply loving the child.” Her experiences will be presented in the form of weekly podcast videos and, ultimately, “an anthology of memoirs.”

How long-term is “Raising Baby X”?:

The long-term project will ultimately encompass the overall span of the child’s life from birth through attending college and developing an independent life.

I sincerely hope the only performance art taking place here is the mock-description of a performance art piece only a truly twisted person would even contemplate.

[marnikotak / animalny.]

Does anybody remember that performance art hoax where the artist was going to sit in a tunnel labyrinth and attempt to rape participants who reached the room he was in? This had BETTER be some similar joke.

You want to give birth in public? Fine. But to turn a child’s life into the Truman show? This child is in so much danger - emotional, mental, physical - is there a petition to child services for this yet? Where can I sign it?